We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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