"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
