just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
