It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize