I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
