ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
