We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
