when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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