remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
