Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
