Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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