Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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