Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
