i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
