Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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