Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
