is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
