i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
