Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
