Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
