god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You need a sexual gate keeper
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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