My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I supernannyed him into submission
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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