I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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