i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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