Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize