he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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