I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
