the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize