did you get engaged???
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
