i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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