I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
