hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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