If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize