i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
