that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
