I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
