He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
