Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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