Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
