He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
