Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
