And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
