you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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