do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize