guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
