Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You are the jesus of drinking
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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