I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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