I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
