is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
