Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
