they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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