What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
