I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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