this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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