ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
there is glitter all over my balls
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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