You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
