This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
