Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
