her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
