After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
How does one acquire holy water?
You were trust falling into bushes
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
