You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize