Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
