I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
