I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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